Lydia Arnold

It’s been great to read so many end-of-year and start-of-year posts from colleagues all around the world this week, with reflections and notes of hope and encouragement for the year ahead. My first post is not quite a list of New Year’s resolutions or commitments, but something much more personal.

Last year, I was diagnosed as ADHD – though more likely AuDHD. It’s taken me about six months to come to terms with that. Like so many midlife women, the diagnosis wasn’t a surprise. Nothing that underpins the story is new to me; but the joining of the dots was truly revelatory. My story is not uncommon. A recent article on WONKHE from Noel-Ann Bradshaw did an excellent job of explaining why higher education needs to better understand the link between neurodivergence and hormonal dysregulation as more women experience their own realisations.

For me, the impact of diagnosis has been enormous. It helped me understand the strong feelings I’ve lived with all my life – difficulties with concentration (too much as well as too little), and undoubtedly strong creativity, coupled with high levels of internal stress and a mind that never really stops. I’ll spare you all the details, as symptoms are well documented, but I am happy to engage with anyone who would find it helpful. With a diagnosis, and with steps I now understand will help, I’m bringing more compassion into my own life.

Why am I sharing this? I’ve hovered over the “post” button several times. I wanted to be transparent because I don’t think there are enough women in leadership who feel able to be open about this – for lots of reasons. There is still significant stigma. Fortunately, not from my own colleagues, but reactions more broadly have been mixed: sometimes incredibly supportive; sometimes met with brilliant humour and positivity; and at other times tricky comments and invalidation. The more difficult reactions I have had reflect a wider shitstorm around neurodiversity being played out in the press, which I would hate to deter anyone from getting diagnosis or support. Moreover, job title, position, or academic ability should not be a barrier to seeking understanding.

The second reason for sharing is to seed hope. If written today my school reports would almost certainly have flagged a child who was somewhat spicy. Over the years, those signals have been loud and clear, but I just wasn’t able to see them for what they were. My feedback at age ten told me, “a more serious approach is needed”, “lacks the attention and effort required”, “too easily distracted from tasks”, and “greater application needed” (all on one page, by the way!). The feedback was of its time; it can’t be seen through the lens of today. It’s a reminder of how far we have come – despite the politicisation. I am sharing these insights to offer hope to others who may receive feedback like this, or who support others.

Thirdly is to simply back the call for more understanding of these issues in HE. I have seen so much progress in supporting students in the years I have been in HE, and although that is far from perfect, awareness and support for each other is also needed. Visibility and real action for staff will, I believe also help students by embedding inclusion further, through modelling and culture shifts. A growing transparency around staff neurodiversity has been incredibly helpful; for me, that has come through an open workplace culture, through friends and family, from information being shared in books and podcasts (I personally value the work of Roxanne Emery), and through articles and campaigns. Still, it’s important that openness goes beyond warmth and transparency, though. Reflecting on how this translates to action, I’m working that out. Sensitivity to each other’s preferences is something I think helps greatly as a feature of management and teamwork. In case you wondered, amongst others mine would include – turn down lighting; structure or a rough plan for a meeting helps greatly; meeting breaks help me and everyone; please put me on notice if you need something from me; and know that there will be typos (for reference, you can find one in most articles and papers by me 😊). There is much for us all to do to create inclusive workplaces, but I hope my own transparency helps a little. I am incredibly grateful to others whose candidness, humour, and care have been unwavering.